New Year's Resolutions: Why don't they work?
New year, new you! It’s time to plan a lifestyle overhaul!
Or maybe not. After all, most New Year’s resolutions go out the window after January anyway. And setting goals for the new year doesn’t make you ‘better.’ You are 100% enough right now. But if you do want to strive for personal development, that’s great too. To find out how to set attainable goals, let’s look at why New Year’s resolutions often don’t work in the first place.
The goals are too big or extreme
You are capable of great things, and you should never let anyone discourage you from pursuing your dreams. But even the most determined people can set themselves up for failure when making New Year’s resolutions. Sometimes, it’s all in the approach.
If the goals are so daunting that you get intimidated every time you look back on them, your chances of success are low. But if you break them down into actionable steps, your resolutions can start to look a lot more attainable.
The SMART goal framework is perfect for simplifying your resolutions.
SMART goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.
For example, if you decide that this year is going to be the year you finally write that novel that’s been bouncing around in your head, it will be helpful to start small. Perhaps you set a goal of writing 2,000 words a week. That way, you have a time-restricted goal that is specific and measurable. Plus, it sounds a lot more manageable than “Write a novel this year.”
The resolutions come from a place of negativity
If you go into the new year desperate to change something you dislike about yourself, it will be easy to get discouraged. Many people approach the new year this way, especially with weight loss goals. This often leads to dieting (which doesn’t work) and consequently, disordered eating.
The negativity might be motivating at first, but it isn’t sustainable. The same can apply to resolutions you set out of spite. If you’re constantly competing with others, it can be difficult to focus on your individual needs and aspirations.
When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, your only competition is yourself.
But, that doesn’t mean you need to be hard on yourself. Negative thoughts like “Why can’t I just do ____?!” or “Why can’t I be like them?” are more harmful than helpful.
You can’t hate yourself into a version of yourself you love. All change starts with self-compassion and acceptance of the person you are right now, in this very moment. You have to believe that you are worthy whether you achieve your goals or not.
We try to accomplish our goals alone
In American society, we value individualism and revere the people who build their dreams “all on their own.” But the truth is, very few things are actually accomplished by one single person. Behind the scenes of every major feat, there are mentors, accountability partners, and others who provide both physical resources and emotional support. In fact, most great projects and achievements are collaborative efforts. It really does take a village.
If you struggle with asking for help or support, accomplishing your new year’s goals is going to be extra challenging. In order to set yourself up for success, you need to first recognize that asking for help is okay, and necessary. Then, you can start identifying people who can be in your corner every step of the way.
When it comes to self-improvement, New Year’s resolutions aren’t always helpful. In fact, they can even be harmful to your physical and mental health. While well-intentioned, resolutions about losing weight and eating ‘healthier’ can be dangerous.
But if you set positive goals and approach them with a compassionate mindset, you just might accomplish something wonderful.
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