How to Quit Comparing Yourself to Others

The tendency to compare ourselves to others is often the hardest thing to shake in recovery. But it isn’t unique to those with eating disorders. We all do it, to some extent. If it’s not our body we are comparing, it is our lifestyle or career success. 

Comparing your body to others’ hinders your eating disorder recovery. Not only are you trying to change the distorted image you see in the mirror, but you’re also fighting to manipulate your body into matching others’.

We may be seeing people in public less during this pandemic, but we are still surrounded by opportunities for comparisons. A lot of us are spending extra time on social media because we are bored and trying to stay connected while complying with social distancing guidelines. 

So how can you quit comparing your body to others’ once and for all?

It won’t happen overnight, but here are some tips that can help you stop the constant comparison:

Unfollow triggering accounts on Instagram

Out of sight, out of mind! Even if it’s a “positive” recovery account, the constant posts with full-body pictures can still trigger comparisons. Plus, you know most people only post their most flattering pictures of themselves, often taken at complimentary angles and edited with filters. Spend your extra free time cleaning your Instagram feed to make it a more welcoming place to scroll. If it’s difficult for you, consider asking a friend whose judgment you trust to do it for you.

Make a list

Write down a list of traits you admire about yourself and/or others that have nothing to do with body size or appearance. They can be things like kindness, creativity, musical talents, resilience, ambition, or compassion.

Think of things your body can do

Express gratitude for all that your body does to take the focus off of how it looks. Your body is your home. It allows you to experience life and all that comes with it. That doesn’t change because of a few pounds. (You can probably do everything the people you are comparing yourself to in your own body, exactly the way it is now).

Get honest with yourself

List everything that you think being a different size would help you accomplish in life. Then take that list and think about why those things matter and whether or not size has anything to do with achieving those goals.

Examples we have heard include: getting a role in a play, finding love, and being a better person. If your body prevents you from any of those things, that says a lot more about the people judging you.

Fill your feed with positivity!

Follow Instagram accounts with fewer pictures of people and more inspiring quotes and captions. There are a ton of body-positive mental health-oriented artists out there who create beautiful and relatable work.

Here are some of our favorites:

@lettershoppe 

@the.lovingmeproject

@alyseruriani

Getting out of the comparison trap when you’re in recovery from an eating disorder can be extremely difficult. The tendency to compare your body to others’ may last longer than your other eating disorder-related behaviors. If you are looking for extra support on your journey to freedom from your eating disorder, explore our online eating disorder therapy and support group options.